IRONIC SILENCE

Dont give me this ironic silence,

It makes me lifeless-burn in mysery,

why did u let me suffer?
Dont you see in my eye,

the feeling of being sicker.

the hopes fly ,

up high-

like the dandalions,

from the garden of my strife.

the night sorrounds,

the weeds grow out.
dont leave me frustrate,

into my bloody grave...

I can't suffocate.

turn and be brave.
as the eagles fly,

I stopped dreaming high,

I felt insecure because of the words u spoke!

You were not shy,

and you dint even realize,

when you hit the bitter sword.

I am so disgraced,

sorrounded with so much pain,

I howl and wail,

Scream and gape,

the empty space you left,

makes my life a bit more terrible.

here I come,

To take the vengence of all .

As I have to become numb,

to the existance of my trace.

INSIPID MOMENT OF MY LIFE

I am recalling everytime of the life of mine,
I am forcing disaster and pain in my mind.
All I wanted to be and to owe to,
All I just see and I get through,
All that I always wished for,
All these realities which just shatter soon.
Make me succumb uncertainly,
to the enormity of the time.

Deep down the dope gets inside my soul,
Hits the nerves of my auricle's hole,
All I had has gone,
All that I lost is trust and love,
All I feel is so shallow and empty,
All I do is luxuriate in wallows,
Of the of the torments that make
the pearls of my eyes a Waterloo.

I am in the darker shades of my life,
I am so misunderstood,
All I have is this strife,
All the way I fight so childlike!
All of the struggle just gets rough.
All I lost is my laughter,
So i hunt for answers of the morose torture,
And more than ever I hope to never fall.

I am facing madness of this world in front of my eyes,
I am eager to leave behind my back the shadows of my past.
All I have to do is be strong to get over it,
All I need is face these devorments tough,
All that I hear is a cacophony,
That tell the reasons to be messed,
And I breakdown to be crippled.

A traceback

*written by me in the early days of my writing. It was written when I was in class Nine.*
As I finished watching a few episodes of animal planet I was left with nothing but memories of my childhood. Being born at a place that resided in the heart of mother nature is a pleasure in itself. I am extermely attached to everything but Homo sapiens. As I was a kid my dad used to escort me to a small deer park which bridged dehradoon and mussorie. I saw a Barah-singha-I was glorified with the way he grazed. Watched him for a few minutes and then headed straight closer to him. The joy in my heart could not be explained as that was the first time I was close to sense something living other than humans! I was a feet away and right there ,he was grazing with soberity,I slowly reached my hand on his hind leg and in a nano second I got a hit on my body,fell headstraight and started bawling at the top of my pitch.This happened when I was Four. And my incredible journey to get close to nature toddled.I grew up visiting that park every weekend. And slowly every animal there could communicate with me. In the most fantascimal silence and stares I could sense thier danger,pain,warmth or loneliness. The peacock,then the swans, the deers and then lastly the most dear to me of all the leopard. He was 4 months old when I became friends with him. Since then the bond jus deepened. Today he is 8 yrs old and probably the most beautiful growller I have ever seen(the metal gang sticks nowhere around him!).
When I was Six my father had to move to Assam. Another heavenly place came into my life. My home was in the woodlands. Beautiful shrubs blossomed and gigantic trees covered us. The rains made it more lovely.. fresh smell of grass,mud and cheers of insects and toads.And here I spent 5 more years of mine growing up with the flora.
Kazirunga wasn't far away, the lush green grassland for miles and miles to see and the home of most muddy water-savvy animal-Rhinoceros.It was early dawn when I sat on a huge elephant-my first contact with an animal. Ahhh.. she was huge, It seemed she was helping me reach for the sky. Surprisingly she could understand that I was a Kid as every now and then she would dance her trunk to feel my presence.And she had delivered a baby-Raja ,just a week before we were on a visit.Raja was a bubbly and twittly-wittly sweety.His eyes were huge and endlessly mischievous and wobbled on his four legs.A ride through the sanctury made me join some new names of animals as well as plants in my list.
This way, the mother nature besided in my heart.

Anachronism Of a Brute

*for the first time ever am writing something in context of a picture. I dont know how well have I stood on it. do leave a comment.*

On the tomb of Mary,

near the endless sea of faith,

the beast had forsakened the fairy,

and she made him her bait.

love is the devil,

and she destroys again,

for the warrior's marvel,

shes the goddess of the pain.

going through the fear,

An intimate metamorphosis,

she 's here-

Her trust shatters and relapses.

on the rocks of corpses'.
the shadows wander,

As the angel laments,

the misery and slaughter,

And the Christ condemns,

the evil hails Its encounter .

love is the devil,

and she destroys again,

And for the warrior's marvel,

shes the goddess of the pain.

As the glory orphans her to hell,

she become weak.

the agitaiton takes the spell,

a weapon of meak.

Its her time to yell,

wings turn Black,

she's the witch,

and dust is her faith.
when the skies turn black,

and the thunderstrom surround

the endless outbreak,

to her pyre the waning winds lead.

love is the devil,

and she destroys again,

And for the warrior's marvel,

shes the goddess of the pain.

libation

"priyata's blog

last update 4 months ago."

This is all i read when i surfed one of my pals blog. Its been long since I have walled myself. Blocked myself compeletly form the nuisance that the world got to offer. the only thing that started growing was a gluttonous and greedy me. I observed that the world has slipped into inanition. Life has taken me into a stand-still, and i observe this phase comes once in a year ( or may b more oft)- as if its my quiddity.
The world or the people itself are responsible for it. I was an extra-extrovert person a few years back. Carrying with me pocket-overflowing freind's. Now, its a megre number,moreover am becoming crowdphobic-the reason is either my isolation or my friends deprivation(or both).This is the outcome of- the extra jammed up schedule where sometimes I become a visitor for my ownself,responsiblity of time. Sometimes my sanguinity becomes an acute silence(it majorly happens when am supposed to be goo-goo-gaa-gaa),responsiblity of odd behaviour by people around me. Sometimes its the hurt which leads to a diatribe by me,responsibility of my extra-sensetive nature! And a mixture of various highs and lows of life which results to an adamant me.
The "cutting -off process" helps me look at the filth in the world in a better manner, which is understood by a chosen few people.
The people have a wonderful attitude to call the next-door person a nescience.It may be as small as to know my pencilbox color-if I hesitate or stay mum, there would be a consice and forceful discription of me as not-much-knowledgable.Day by Day discussions are becoming more of a show-off then knowlege sharing. Moreover the best thing to watch and laugh on is the attitude that people carry(i swear major amount of the existing world) , they show themselves to be Thee. As if they have been the creator,the runner, and would be the distructor of the world.The disposition that they carry makes me condole. On a still incisive eye I notice the anger,the jealosy and the will-to-dethrone the peermates.Each one japes on the other pedestrian on the walk of time. All the negetive actions, which are grandiloquent leave me in a state to howl. Slowly all this becomes irritable and I become liable.
All these discourteous acts which were sucking me into blackhole suddenly give me the upliftment to desorb this state of mine. And then there are a few tears (in context to the desorption), then an impetous frission and lastly a thaumaturgy which results to cheerful me....

A Tinch Of Life

Its a great circle-this life. since the day my lungs have started sensing the air on their own, I have been continuously experiencing the same conditions-but they probably tend to be in different modulations! I was born and then I waxly remember the times of childhood- crech classes, friends, malfeasance,snivelling , elation on getting importance from people surrounding us etc.
Today I am doing my graduation.. or else i should address that am-on-the-brink of completing my graduation.And somewhere deep inside that same elemental character disposition remains.
Also I note that life makes me stand on the same point from where i completed the previous circle(and that happens pretty oft), surprisingly enough it doesn't even give any circumspection on the radius of the circle(its the same!!!)
And yet I - "like an insane creature" still sit to sort out the "pie-r-square" of the situation. The only difference that comes is the perception- which grows as we advance in our life .

The whole view just changes… as in the situation is of the same rigor. The things which change are the emotions involved (as they are propotional to our age) , the people involved (they just poke in too much) , and above all us (we just scrap that problem as if it’s the only landmark in life).
So on a whole the circle remains the same.. the only thing that changes is the complexity with which we(tend to) acumen the situation.

the strifle...

people have ripped me,
and i tear into two-
one is the garbed face,
and the other naked truth..

As i tred on,
the walk of life;
I carry the emptiness
in which the world resides.
I see the faces changing
slowly metamorphosize,
Acting like strangers-
on the relations that survived.

The garbed face smiles,
passes through the dampness of the fucked up life.
It hits the spotlight,
blows on to Jive.
Turning the spark of monster,
to ignition bright.

The naked truth
swamps through the weeds,
fighting through every reason,
opposing its persistance.


The Truth becomes doomed,
absolute,drained,dull,exhausted and mortuary.
As the garbed face wins the chase.