A traceback

*written by me in the early days of my writing. It was written when I was in class Nine.*
As I finished watching a few episodes of animal planet I was left with nothing but memories of my childhood. Being born at a place that resided in the heart of mother nature is a pleasure in itself. I am extermely attached to everything but Homo sapiens. As I was a kid my dad used to escort me to a small deer park which bridged dehradoon and mussorie. I saw a Barah-singha-I was glorified with the way he grazed. Watched him for a few minutes and then headed straight closer to him. The joy in my heart could not be explained as that was the first time I was close to sense something living other than humans! I was a feet away and right there ,he was grazing with soberity,I slowly reached my hand on his hind leg and in a nano second I got a hit on my body,fell headstraight and started bawling at the top of my pitch.This happened when I was Four. And my incredible journey to get close to nature toddled.I grew up visiting that park every weekend. And slowly every animal there could communicate with me. In the most fantascimal silence and stares I could sense thier danger,pain,warmth or loneliness. The peacock,then the swans, the deers and then lastly the most dear to me of all the leopard. He was 4 months old when I became friends with him. Since then the bond jus deepened. Today he is 8 yrs old and probably the most beautiful growller I have ever seen(the metal gang sticks nowhere around him!).
When I was Six my father had to move to Assam. Another heavenly place came into my life. My home was in the woodlands. Beautiful shrubs blossomed and gigantic trees covered us. The rains made it more lovely.. fresh smell of grass,mud and cheers of insects and toads.And here I spent 5 more years of mine growing up with the flora.
Kazirunga wasn't far away, the lush green grassland for miles and miles to see and the home of most muddy water-savvy animal-Rhinoceros.It was early dawn when I sat on a huge elephant-my first contact with an animal. Ahhh.. she was huge, It seemed she was helping me reach for the sky. Surprisingly she could understand that I was a Kid as every now and then she would dance her trunk to feel my presence.And she had delivered a baby-Raja ,just a week before we were on a visit.Raja was a bubbly and twittly-wittly sweety.His eyes were huge and endlessly mischievous and wobbled on his four legs.A ride through the sanctury made me join some new names of animals as well as plants in my list.
This way, the mother nature besided in my heart.

Anachronism Of a Brute

*for the first time ever am writing something in context of a picture. I dont know how well have I stood on it. do leave a comment.*

On the tomb of Mary,

near the endless sea of faith,

the beast had forsakened the fairy,

and she made him her bait.

love is the devil,

and she destroys again,

for the warrior's marvel,

shes the goddess of the pain.

going through the fear,

An intimate metamorphosis,

she 's here-

Her trust shatters and relapses.

on the rocks of corpses'.
the shadows wander,

As the angel laments,

the misery and slaughter,

And the Christ condemns,

the evil hails Its encounter .

love is the devil,

and she destroys again,

And for the warrior's marvel,

shes the goddess of the pain.

As the glory orphans her to hell,

she become weak.

the agitaiton takes the spell,

a weapon of meak.

Its her time to yell,

wings turn Black,

she's the witch,

and dust is her faith.
when the skies turn black,

and the thunderstrom surround

the endless outbreak,

to her pyre the waning winds lead.

love is the devil,

and she destroys again,

And for the warrior's marvel,

shes the goddess of the pain.

libation

"priyata's blog

last update 4 months ago."

This is all i read when i surfed one of my pals blog. Its been long since I have walled myself. Blocked myself compeletly form the nuisance that the world got to offer. the only thing that started growing was a gluttonous and greedy me. I observed that the world has slipped into inanition. Life has taken me into a stand-still, and i observe this phase comes once in a year ( or may b more oft)- as if its my quiddity.
The world or the people itself are responsible for it. I was an extra-extrovert person a few years back. Carrying with me pocket-overflowing freind's. Now, its a megre number,moreover am becoming crowdphobic-the reason is either my isolation or my friends deprivation(or both).This is the outcome of- the extra jammed up schedule where sometimes I become a visitor for my ownself,responsiblity of time. Sometimes my sanguinity becomes an acute silence(it majorly happens when am supposed to be goo-goo-gaa-gaa),responsiblity of odd behaviour by people around me. Sometimes its the hurt which leads to a diatribe by me,responsibility of my extra-sensetive nature! And a mixture of various highs and lows of life which results to an adamant me.
The "cutting -off process" helps me look at the filth in the world in a better manner, which is understood by a chosen few people.
The people have a wonderful attitude to call the next-door person a nescience.It may be as small as to know my pencilbox color-if I hesitate or stay mum, there would be a consice and forceful discription of me as not-much-knowledgable.Day by Day discussions are becoming more of a show-off then knowlege sharing. Moreover the best thing to watch and laugh on is the attitude that people carry(i swear major amount of the existing world) , they show themselves to be Thee. As if they have been the creator,the runner, and would be the distructor of the world.The disposition that they carry makes me condole. On a still incisive eye I notice the anger,the jealosy and the will-to-dethrone the peermates.Each one japes on the other pedestrian on the walk of time. All the negetive actions, which are grandiloquent leave me in a state to howl. Slowly all this becomes irritable and I become liable.
All these discourteous acts which were sucking me into blackhole suddenly give me the upliftment to desorb this state of mine. And then there are a few tears (in context to the desorption), then an impetous frission and lastly a thaumaturgy which results to cheerful me....

A Tinch Of Life

Its a great circle-this life. since the day my lungs have started sensing the air on their own, I have been continuously experiencing the same conditions-but they probably tend to be in different modulations! I was born and then I waxly remember the times of childhood- crech classes, friends, malfeasance,snivelling , elation on getting importance from people surrounding us etc.
Today I am doing my graduation.. or else i should address that am-on-the-brink of completing my graduation.And somewhere deep inside that same elemental character disposition remains.
Also I note that life makes me stand on the same point from where i completed the previous circle(and that happens pretty oft), surprisingly enough it doesn't even give any circumspection on the radius of the circle(its the same!!!)
And yet I - "like an insane creature" still sit to sort out the "pie-r-square" of the situation. The only difference that comes is the perception- which grows as we advance in our life .

The whole view just changes… as in the situation is of the same rigor. The things which change are the emotions involved (as they are propotional to our age) , the people involved (they just poke in too much) , and above all us (we just scrap that problem as if it’s the only landmark in life).
So on a whole the circle remains the same.. the only thing that changes is the complexity with which we(tend to) acumen the situation.

the strifle...

people have ripped me,
and i tear into two-
one is the garbed face,
and the other naked truth..

As i tred on,
the walk of life;
I carry the emptiness
in which the world resides.
I see the faces changing
slowly metamorphosize,
Acting like strangers-
on the relations that survived.

The garbed face smiles,
passes through the dampness of the fucked up life.
It hits the spotlight,
blows on to Jive.
Turning the spark of monster,
to ignition bright.

The naked truth
swamps through the weeds,
fighting through every reason,
opposing its persistance.


The Truth becomes doomed,
absolute,drained,dull,exhausted and mortuary.
As the garbed face wins the chase.

The light of darkness-

As I move on entangeled in mysteries
Helping myself out of injuries that the world has staged
Smearing the hope of the help of his Holiness
I slowly get blurred by the light of darkness
Sucking the thoughts of peace and sympathy
the hells desire burns in me
I daze at it-as I fade in the light
My hands reach out…
They reach out to coax the truth
And the shield sues me through
It pains .. this despair of adopting the naked transpirancy
I sense the loss of my ecstasy as it scrapes me
The light of darkness
Slowly surrounding me,
baffling me,
Chocking me.
Encasing me,… to I don’t know where
As I awake in the hells light
The smoky repise
The dizzy surprise
I know this place, I know this stand
Where shadows gape with a screaming scratch
I am completely frustrated, massively jaded
As I loose my original self
In the light of darkness I revive,
In this conspiracy I spread an oath
To revenge this morbid world
For every scar, for every bruise
That made my soul ooze
As I am reborn
I molastrate each worldly storm
rape hatred and jealousy
stake backstabs and misery
all these as they stood against me
as the hope of His help suicides
The darkness has survived
Making me the Devine
To rectify the vexation
And heal the ache with vengeance
In the light of darkness I tread…

I put my trust in you

I put my trust on you,
Making myself go through ,
I place my belief in you,
Making myself providential…
But in hearts sorrow
Things dint turn out substantial
You seem to deceive me,
Sharing me with infinity

Wait for me ,you are mine…
this song is my sign
to tell you that you broke me completely
I force my own capture to the crime
A desolation of my rhyme
This brutal music of divine
Takes me though the time…
Wait for me , you are mine.

Love is what I shared with you
Faith is its strengthening word
But you-just cudnt stand up true
Split-is what my ears heard
I lost myself unnervingly
Understanding going absurd
My soul’s hurt disturbingly

Wait for me ,you are mine…
this song is my sign
to tell you that you broke me completely
I force my own capture to the crime
A desolation of my rhyme
This brutal music of divine
Takes me though the time…
Wait for me , you are mine.

Yea you are mine…
Don’t leave this regime
I need you in due time
I look out for your voice
In this broken noise
Making it survives just you and I